The best thing about the end of summer is the flood of new trailers as studios scramble to meet the impending shitty weather with their awards season bait. This week’s batch is toploaded with Oscar-driven schmaltz, but it’s still August so there are some car chases left to satisfy us plebes.
Manchester by the Sea
Ahhh shit. Why does this stuff always get me? By now we should all be immune to the old, your brother/best friend/sister died and now for some weird reason you’ve been named their legal guardian even though by any measurement of adulthood you’re a feckless loser. But there’s something about Casey Affleck’s hard-done by shoulder stoop and his dragging accent in Manchester by the Sea that just makes me fucking weep. This is the hot trailer everyone is sharing this week and it’s not hard to see why. 10/10 would watch this trailer again.
Mr. Church
Honestly, I’m so sorry for making you watch these two trailers back to back but it’s Friday, your co-workers expect you to cry at your desk. I had low expectations for this one and there are problems, lots of problems. But I dunno man, Eddie Murphy looks great! Britt Robertson is a delight! Who is Mr. Church? Are we all Mr. Church? LET’S FIND OUT!
Planetarium
Rebecca Zlotowski’s Planetarium is a moody mystery about two sisters scamming their way through Europe. They think they can communicate with the dead and their bond is tested when they run across a producer who wants to put their act on film. Most of this trailer is in French so I’ll just assume it’s very good and serious and important. Johnny Depp’s daughter Lily Rose Depp stars opposite Natalie Portman so expect it to be buzzy once the English version is released.
Sully
Tom Hanks IS Captain Sully Sullenberger! Clint Eastwood IS old man yelling at cloud! Together they ARE the minds behind this fall’s least-anticipated movie, Sully! The great thing about making a movie about a viral moment in recent history is that not enough time has passed for us to care and yet too much time has passed for us to care. Well done, everyone. Spoiler alert: He landed the plane in the Hudson. No one died. The end.
Kidnap
LOL. Ok where do I even begin? I mean, I have seen this exact movie before when it was called The Call starring Halle Berry as a determined 911 operator who keeps a kidnap victim alive during a high-speed freeway chase. But of course there is nothing new in the world so I’d still be willing to give Kidnap starring Halle Berry as a determined mom trying to keep her kidnapped son alive during a high speed freeway chase if the entire thing didn’t look laughably implausible. No one in the busy park stopped to call the cops or help you as you went screaming down the parking lot hanging off the side of a shitty sports car? There’s no amber alert? No one’s pulling either of you over even though you’re wildly careening down a busy highway? Nah. That being said, I will watch this as soon as someone rips the DVD online.
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