Well, it happened. Yesterday’s Switch 2 Direct confirmed all our biggest fears about Nintendo’s new console. What? No, I’m not talking about the exorbitant prices. Nope, I’m not referring to Nintendo gleefully basking in their “Xbox Kinect moment“. It’s even worse – throughout the one-hour-long Direct, there was no mention, not even a mutter, of a return to StreetPass. And that, folks, is kind of the nail in the coffin for the handheld era.

Okay, fine, I’ll stop being dramatic. The era of handheld gaming – that time when your system fit comfortably in your pocket – has been dead for a while now. That’s no secret. Since the launch of the Nintendo Switch in 2017, hardware companies have rushed to cram as much as they can into tablet-sized devices. The lack of StreetPass on the Switch 2 isn’t a death rattle for handheld culture; rather, a desecration of its rotting corpse. You had something here, Nintendo, it was in the palm of your hands!

From Flex to Flop: StreetPass was the peak of Nintendo’s handheld era

Ah, StreetPass. You were so ahead of your time. The 3DS feature was revolutionary – actually incentivizing players to take their handhelds along with them and socializing, if only for a digital moment, with strangers. It gives Nintendo’s handheld titan a greater purpose, a bigger reason to exist. That little green light, man. That reminder that, “Hey, there’s someone else like me around here.” And now? Tossed aside, forgotten, and tucked neatly beside the grave of portable gaming. Sure, the Switch is “portable,” but – and it really pains me to say this – why would I carry it around when I’ve got a phone? For Balatro? Slay the Spire? Fortnite? Nope, already available on the iPhone.

It’s strange, coming from the company that pushes the “on the go” playstyle so firmly in their marketing. “All Together, Anytime, Anywhere,” the slogan proudly displays on Nintendo’s official Switch 2 webpage. But, is it really? With the Switch 2 only getting bigger than its predecessor, with even less battery life than before, it really feels like Nintendo would rather have you sit at home than bring your Switch along to a picnic in the park. Nobody’s fitting that sucker in their pocket. And, be honest, you’re not lugging around a Switch carrying case without a slight air of embarrassment.

And hey, I’m cool with sitting at home and playing Switch 2 on the big screen. I’m also cool with slapping on a backpack and taking one over to a friend’s house. I just wish Nintendo would commit a little further. Give me a reason to bring it with me, because I really want to!

Shout out to the little guys

The beauty of the Nintendo 3DS was in its utterly perfect design. The size, the clamshell folding – all meticulously crafted to fit neatly in your pocket. Compare that to the handheld market of today, and you’d think they were a guerrilla marketing tactic to bring JNCOs back in style.

Credit where credit’s due: despite the rush for hardware companies desperately trying to slam as much of a PC gaming rig as they can into our hands, some manufacturers are keeping the dream alive. Anbernic and ModRetro come to mind, with their iterations of familiar Nintendo handhelds of the past. Emulation is cool and all (legally, of course!), but these products probably won’t be playing any Switch 2 games anytime soon. Haha… unless?

The Switch 2 is still a few months away from release. And while there may still be unannounced features left to reveal, I’m not holding my breath for a return of StreetPass. Pour one out for the hoMiis, folks.