Don’t let anyone shame you for your precious couch time! We all need a day to do absolutely nothing every once in a while, because grind culture is killing happiness. Get the most out of your couch-rots with these comfy, cool products that enrich your sofa experience, from keeping drinks cold to keeping you cozy in loungewear.
These are the best buys for couch-rotting because they turn your lazy days into luxurious escapes. It’s not about being a bum; it’s about taking time to reset and refresh yourself. Maybe for you, that’s hours of Sims 4, finishing a sexy novel about fairies, or eating all the potato chips you can stomach. Indulge yourself with these couch-rotting buys and be a couch-rotting connoisseur.
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Bubble Cuddle Blanket
What is couch-rotting without a fuzzy-ass blanket? The Bubble Cuddle Blanket is the ultimate cozy accessory for your laziest days (or weeks). The blanket is lightweight yet luxurious, with an uber-soft texture that you can hunker down with. The bubble design makes it feel fluffier and fuller. Opt for Double Bubble for an even plusher feel, or go with the Classic design for something simpler. With elegant, timeless color options and different sizes, these blankets from Cozy Earth are a must-have for every couch-rotter.
Ui Artist Self-Heating Mug Set
Getting up to microwave your tea is so not the vibe we’re going for with a good couch-rot. You’ve probably seen self-heating mugs or mug warmers, but you haven’t seen one quite like this. The Ui Artist Self-Heating Mug Set is a hand-crafted ceramic mug, so no two mugs are the same. The heating pad doubles as a wireless phone charger, giving you another reason not to get up off the couch. With five earthy colors and a slim design, the mug set is stylish and high-tech.
Set of Diptyque Small Candles
Just because you’re rotting on the couch, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to spoil yourself. Make sure you create a five-senses experience with this Set of Diptyque Small Candles. Diptyque is the best of the best when it comes to candles, with long burns, even melting, and robust scents that fill your home with sweetness. You can create your own set of small candles, mixing and matching limited-edition scents or committing to your favorite scent. Light these while you decay into your sofa and enjoy the lavish aromas as you binge reality TV.
Pure Silk PJ Set
Make couch-rotting sexy with this Pure Silk PJ Set from SilkSilky. It’s made with 100% pure Mulberry silk and has an effortlessly cool fit. The shorts and camisole are ideal for summer, or you can throw a sweatshirt over this set during the winter. Couch-rotters can be fashionable too, and these supple, lavish pejamas make you look like a rich heiress, even if you’ve been lying on your sofa for four days straight. Feel fabulous and free with the prettiest PJs out there.
Hawthorne Chip and Dip Bowl
The Hawthorne Chip and Dip Bowl will elevate every queso you microwave and every bag of Tostitos you tear open. Instead of dipping your chips directly into the salsa jar, you can feel classier as you couch-rot. The elegant bowl is made of mango wood with an enamel coating, so it’s lightweight, sleek, and durable. The lovely leaf pattern brings some style to your snacktime, and the convenient built-in bowl is ready and waiting to hold your favorite dip and chip combination.
Mongolian Cashmere Slouch Sock
Keep those toesies warm with the Mongolian Cashmere Slouch Sock from Quince. Made with a decadent and supple cashmere blend, the socks offer a comfortable amount of stretch while still being durable enough to wear day in and day out. The slouchy design means they feel roomy but also snuggly, so your feet will be toasty without being suffocated. Yes, these are the perfect socks for couch-rotting, but they’re chic enough to wear out and about with a fab pair of loafers or your favorite winter boots.
Nintendo Switch
Need a break from the TV? Need a second screen to entertain you while the TV is on in the background? Same. You need a Nintendo Switch so you can game without turning on the Xbox. This unparalleled gaming experience is all the rage for a reason, so it’s time to hop on the bandwagon and update your gaming setup. The best part is you can always go from gaming on the handheld to gaming on your TV, giving you a versatile experience. Whether you want to meander through life in Animal Crossing: New Horizons for hours or win a quick race on Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, you don’t need to get up for a good time.
Cotopaxi Retro Pullover Hoodie
Meet your new favorite hoodie — for couch-rotting, grocery store trips, and just about everything else. The Cotopaxi Retro Pullover Hoodie is made with 70% supple cotton and 30% recycled polyester for a soft and durable feel. The thick material is luxurious and toasty, with a fuzzy inside and sleek outside. The simple design has throwback vibes, and the creamy white color is a luscious neutral. I recommend sizing up one or two sizes to create an oversized fit that is ideal for snuggling and sleeping on the couch.
Coop Original Adjustable Body Pillow
If you don’t have anyone to snuggle, or maybe your dog is a bad snuggler, the Coop Original Adjustable Body Pillow is happy to be the little spoon. It’s made with a blend of memory foam and microfiber filler, creating a firm but cushy feel you can melt into like butter on popcorn. You can adjust the firmness by removing filler to create the ideal pressure relief on those stiff parts of your body. Use it as a massive head pillow to sprawl out over it so you can feel like you’re couch-rotting with a cuddle buddy.
Kobo Libra Colour E-Reader
Not all couch-rotters are TV fiends. If you love to rot while reading, get the Kobo Lubra E-Reader. Yeah, yeah, Kindles and Nooks are popular, but the Kobo Colour is my top pick because you can actually read books in color. It has a stylus for annotating (if you’re a nerd like me), and goes beyond books with journal, daily planner, book club prompts, and more fun features. The thicker curved design also makes it more comfortable and ergonomic to hold, so it feels more like a book than an iPad.
DVD Player for TV
It’s time for all of us to rise up against the streaming services and return to the era of DVDs. For my dedicated couch-rotters, you can start a collection of your favorite DVDs, so when the Netflix overlords take away a movie you love, you can still watch it! This DVD Player is compatible with almost every kind of TV, and has a compact design so it can fit neatly on your TV stand. Trust me, flipping through your DVD collection is way more fun than desperately looking for something to watch on Hulu, giving your couch-rot a nostalgic touch.
Laurie Bed Tray
The Laurie Bed Tray says “sick child in bed,” but make it fashion. It’s an attractive bed tray that you can use for meals, working at home, coloring, knitting, reading, and any other co-couch-rot activities. With a side compartment, you can store all your couch-rotting supplies in it and seamlessly move from a couch-rot day to a bed-rot night. Using your laptop and eating will be way cozier and more organized, enhancing your couch-rotting. Plus, it comes in three colors, offering a stylish addition to your lazy schedule.
Vochill Stemmed Wine Chiller
You’ve got your mug warmer to keep cocoa, coffee, and tea warm, but how do you keep your white wine cold without getting up from the couch? The Vochill Stemmed Wine Chiller is the answer. This artsy glass holder is designed to keep things cool for up to two hours. You can sip that Chardonnay as slowly as you want. The cradle design also makes it seem like you have a servant sitting beside you holding your wine while you rot, which makes you feel like royalty. It’s not just for wine; it works with cocktails, water, sodas, and beyond.
Joss & Main Stoneware Large Pasta Bowl
If you’re not on the pasta bowl train yet, you should hop on now. Pasta bowls, also sometimes called bowl-plates or other variations, are wide and shallow enough to work as plates, but have high sides that create bowl-like security. The Joss & Main Stoneware Large Pasta Bowl is a stunning example of this brilliant design. You don’t need to worry about pasta sauce or salad dressing running off the plate while you’re cuddled up on the couch. But the surface is still flat enough for cutting meat — there’s no meal you can’t use these for.
Seat and Storage Coffee Table
Every couch-rotter should have a stellar coffee table, like this Seat and Storage Coffee Table from Wayfair. It’s a coffee table; it’s handy storage; it’s ottoman seating. The coffee table neatly fits four small ottomans underneath it, and each ottoman has storage inside. The versatile coffee table allows you to keep all your couch-rotting goodies nearby, from your comfiest blankets to your go-to coloring book. When your couch-rot phase is over, it’s still a stylish piece of furniture and can keep everyone comfy when they come over for a board game night.
Brooklinen Super-Plush Robe
Couch-rotting doesn’t actually require any clothes, so you can wrap yourself up in the Brooklinen Super-Plush Robe and skip the pants, shirts, and other clothes. Made with 100% Turkish cotton, the uber-soft robe is a must for post-shower couch-rotting. Hop out of the shower and throw this on; you’ll be dry in a minute and can go straight to the couch, where your cozy, lazy day awaits you. You get to choose from a variety of striped designs, solid colors, and checkerboard patterns.
NWTN Home Vesper Gravity Bong
For the cannabis-loving couch-rotters, the NWTN Home Vesper Gravity Bong is a brilliant buy. The bong has an elegant design that makes it look like classy decor, but one hit from this, and you’ll be high as a kite. No need to ash and repack bowl after bowl, because you’ll get a stronger, faster high from each hit of this. You can stay toasted on your couch all day and truly sink into that rotten vibe. The seven color options range from soft and dreamy to earthy and mature, so you can find a bong that suits your aesthetic.
