Learning about your area is a magical time in a young person’s life and also often an extremely weird and unsettling one. For the tiny fraction of “first-time” stories we’ve heard that don’t involve members of the same sex or older sister’s bras or repurposed turkey sandwiches, it’s almost amazing to think that the world isn’t peopled exclusively by gay, psychologically-crippled scat fetishists. Then again, maybe it is and everybody’s just much better than us at cleaning up after themselves before having company over. In any case, we went out and asked a bunch of folks to tell us about their passage into the “age of discovery.” Here are their tender mem’ries.

Vice: So, tell us about your passage into the “age of discovery.”
Olivia: Ronny: Florence:

And what happened? Was it full-on sex or just a finger-bang?
I pretty much got fisted because at that age you don’t really get how to seduce a lady. You just go for however many fingers can you fit in her fanny.

So how was it?
Shit awful. Put me off for life.




Kristin: When I was very little my best friend was a crazy girl. Her parents had a farm that raised and trained police horses. They also had like 10 dogs, and when we were taking care of the dogs in the doghouse she would make the dogs lick her. I didn’t understand exactly why but I could see she was feeling good when they did it and it made me feel horny in a way too. I never let the dogs lick me, but I ran back home and got off on my own.










Dieter: I was around 11 years old. I had handcrafted a kind of homemade porno mag consisting of underwear ads from old magazines that belonged my mum. We did a lot of nasty stuff together, me and that mag.













Linnea: When I was in primary school, me and my friends were on a climbing pole playing a game where the winner was the one who lasted the longest on the pole without sliding down. Suddenly I felt a prickle and noticed that it got more intense the more I moved up and down the pole. So I did that for a while and had my first orgasm.